Bah! I just finished re-reading the story thus far and it’s terrible! This is the thing I hate most about writing. It is so difficult to finish stories because the desire to go back and fix and re-write is so, so high. That’s why I really want to do it this way, actually. If it’s out there and people are reading it and waiting for the next piece, I can’t go back and fix what’s already out there. I just have to keep moving forward! I can’t wait to get to the end to be able to go back to the beginning and fix grammar and inconsistencies 🙂 Let’s get the skeleton finished, then beef it up into a real story. For anyone new, start here to start at the beginning… Here goes nothing!

CHRISTIAN

When Christian got home that night he did his best to wash the smell of cigarettes off of his fingers. He scrubbed his teeth until his gums began to bleed and then proceeded to strip down to his boxers, effectively peeling the last bit of evidence of the night’s transgressions away. Silently, ever so silently, he tiptoed into the room he shared with his brothers, but this time, rather than squeeze in between them, he opted for the carpet right next to the mattress. It was getting too tight in that damn bed, anyway, and the floor was good for his back.

Christian couldn’t sleep. He didn’t think he was gay. He didn’t think he was anything. Was there such a thing as that? It wasn’t that he thought of other boys in a way that he should be thinking about girls, it was just that he didn’t think about girls that way, either. He had too much on his plate to think about girls; he had seen first-hand the drama that they could cause. He didn’t want to think about having another mouth to feed, and girls were a straight path to exactly that. Christian’s older cousin lived close by, and he had visibly witnessed the weight of his primos’s heina settle onto his shoulders. It etched lines of worry into that space between George’s eyebrows and around the edges of his mouth, and that was before the baby was even born. Not to mention Christian’s own little brothers, the ones he had essentially raised from the time they were 3 and 5. Nah, he knew what girls led to and thus far it made him a little sick to his stomach to think about getting too close. They recently learned about asexual organisms in biology, and he felt like he could relate. Not gay, not straight – just not needing anyone else in his life for any of that. Yup, he was asexual alright.

Things with Annie were different. It wasn’t that she was female – she was just… cool. He could think of so many good adjectives to describe Annie. She was refreshing, a tiny tropical island that he could escape to whenever he wanted to get away from his reality. He’d always known Annie and liked her, but from the time they’d really started talking almost two weeks ago it was like they’d known each other forever. It was just easy with her like that. Pinche hell. He’d never thought of kissing her! Why’d she have to say that? It was like a picture that had never been drawn before that point. An idea that he hadn’t known existed until someone told him about it, and now he couldn’t get it out of his head. Well, it didn’t matter anyway. He was asexual, and he was never going to let a girl put those lines between his eyebrows.

Annie and Christian – ReDeux

So, I have an idea! But first I must digress. I took a break for a while, obviously. What can I say? My kids (and spouse – he’s a teacher) got out of school in mid-May and it’s been a whirlwind summer. I’ve got tons of new family travel adventures and staycations under my belt now that need to be posted over at my fourspoke.com website. It’s been fun times!

Back to my idea. As we wrap up this summer season, the gravitational pull of the fiction world is slowly gathering me back into its orbit. I’ve been thinking a lot about finishing this story of Christian and Annie that I never fully got to explore. I was scared away by the fast pace and inevitable reader judgement that was sure to come from hammering out something so quickly, but I also realize that I really do finish projects better under pressure. I think I would like to finish it, and I would like to finish it publicly. I am going to use this space to write it in chunks like I did for the beginning of the A to Z challenge, but I have decided on a few rules:

1) I am not going to worry about doing it alphabetically.

2) I am going to use this space as an un-edited, purely artistic space to get my story written. This means that it will be rough and will have typos and other editing issues, but I am going to try really hard not to care. No word processors – just dumping my words right into the posting window!

3) I am going to finish the rough draft by the end of the year.

4) Once it’s all finished via blog posts, I am going to collect all of the pieces and actually edit/rewrite it.

5) I will release a final version in the end. I’d really like to explore e-book options and see what’s out there.

I know I had a few people following me in the beginning and I would love you to stay on the journey with me! I can’t promise that the final, edited story will be the same as the one that’s going up first – in fact, I’m sure it’ll be quite different in the end. I think this will be a fun project, though, and I am looking forward to moving it along. Thanks for bearing with me.